Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Standing strong on my own

"Standing strong on my own"
Pencils on paper

 And for the first time in a very long time i am really busy with something. Project that still sounds like a dream to me. So at this moment i am drawing until my hands fall off. As i am perfectionist, i make things really difficult for myself. I feel excited, stressed, anxious, happy, sad and messy.  But in the end it's worth it.

And the silence came just like i expected, but it's ok. I have no time to be heartbroken, maybe i have more time when it's all over...

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Winter and the paths we take

There was this most beautiful autumn i have ever experienced, all the warmth, colors and sunlight i have ever wanted from autumn. After that the winter came and i feel so different than i usually do. Having spent most of the winters of my life in the city, this year was different, this place is different. Small houses with tiny gardens, all sitting next to eachother in this lovely winter. The silence that  breaks occasionaly with dogs barking and airplane going over, the streets that still covered with pure white snow, the snowman with flower pot hat and someones tiny christmas tree on their house roof. The big and little things like that make this winter less terrible. You see, i usually don't like winter too much, i always long for the first breath of spring to come. This is the first winter i haven't complained about feeling cold ( and no i haven't got myself new coat :)), which is a miracle for a person like me who always feels cold. And i go for walks more than ever, usually accompanied by  my dear dog, but in my head i wish there was that 3rd person with me, besides myself and the dog. I don't know if i have even asked him if he likes to go walking, He is sweet and wonderful, i am sure he likes to, but i couldn't dare to ask now. It's too late, timing is absolutely terrible. Some paths are never meant to collide.

I didn't think i would feel this way,
about everything,
even about the winter,
but it makes me wanna write,
it makes me wanna create,
and wasnt that what i wanted after all...

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Cut me loose

"Cut Me Loose"
colored pencils on paper

Don't you ever feel like you want to be saved. Someone who would come and cut you loose from all your fears that have haunted you for years. Someone who would force you to live and have no regrets. I am so tired of being afraid and you are so tired of seeing me like that.

But i have to be my own savior, cut myself loose, from everything and everyone who stop me from feeling alive.